To Be Loved for Who I Am

Lately, I've come to understand a longing I'd always kept in my heart.

I have always wanted, very much, to be loved unconditionally. I want someone to come close to me because they love me, because they find me, as a person, lovely, and not because I am useful to them, or have something they want.

Slowly, I realized that nearly every time I've been hurt, it was because of this.

I'm a soft-hearted person, and a kind one. Sometimes I give my goodness, my care, even to people who don't truly cherish me, who only see what I can give. And then, when I realize they came close only because I was useful, I feel deeply sad.

That sadness runs deep. Because it makes me wonder, do I have to be useful before anyone will come close to me?

But later, when I grew quiet and thought about it, I saw that this isn't true.

When I look back over my life, the people who truly loved me never loved me for whether I was useful. They loved me when I had nothing yet to give. They are the ones who let me know, truly and clearly, that I can be loved unconditionally. I have never lacked real love.

And so I understood, whether a person deserves love has never been about whether they're useful. What is truly good is inward. It's who you are. Those who see only your value are seeing the surface. Those who truly love you see the person.

This is also why I love this piece by Gordon Gu, the Female Bust.

It's made of glacier crystal. What it celebrates isn't a passing prettiness, but a real beauty, and a confidence that grows from within.

It seems to remind me that a woman's true beauty and strength lie not in what she can give, but in who she is. The inward matters more than the surface. Who you are matters more than whether you're useful.

I want to be a woman like that. To quietly be myself. To trust that I am worthy of love, not because I'm useful, but simply because I am me.

And a person who can love others this way, unconditionally, is, I believe, surely worthy of being loved that way too.

— Marie, Founder of Lyfairs